


To The Place I Belong

by NotLostAnymore



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Angst, Blue Team Feels, Drabble, Dreams and Nightmares, Freelancer Feels, M/M, Past Character Death, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sad Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-06
Updated: 2015-06-06
Packaged: 2018-04-03 03:45:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4085422
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NotLostAnymore/pseuds/NotLostAnymore
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes Wash screams in his sleep.</p>
            </blockquote>





	To The Place I Belong

They've only been sharing a base for a week when Tucker is first woken up by the agonized screaming from the other room. He jumps out of bed, afraid of what he might find in the next room. He knows the Reds are too dumb to attack them, especially now that they're sorta-allies, but he's not willing to rule out anything that's threatening his team. Now that Church is gone somebody has to look after Caboose and -

 _Wash_.

The former Freelancer is thrashing around in his bed, screaming himself hoarse. Tucker's never seen anything like it before and for a moment he freezes up in fear. What is he supposed to do? Wash isn't even staying still long enough for him to see if the other man's actually injured or if it's just something in his dream. 

 _I_ _should wake him up_. 

He takes all of a step forward before realizing that might be a bad idea. Wash is still a complete stranger to him, what if this is a regular thing? What if Wash attacks him in his sleeping state? Tucker has absolutely no idea what to do and it terrifies him. How is he supposed to look after his team if he can't make on the spot decisions?

 

* * *

  

"York, get up!  _Get up!_ "

Wash can't remember ever being this angry at York. Hell, he can't even remember ever being on a mission like this but all he knows is that York has a bullet or two in his legs and if he doesn't move then there's going to be more and he can't let that happen. He's not going to lose his brother again. He can't.

"Wash, just go. Leave me, go!" York insists, pushing him away. Wash feels an anger burning inside of him at being sent away, a fire that he can't quell. He doesn't care about his own safety, he doesn't care if he lives or dies. If he dies then it's all over but if he lives then he's alone and he doesn't want that. He's never wanted that but it's the world he's stuck with.

Before he can even argue back, the back of York's skull caves in. Wash doesn't think he's ever screamed this loud in his life.

 

* * *

 

 "ARE WE BEING ATTACKED?!"

Tucker almost jumps a mile at the voice behind him. Of course Caboose would yell. If Tucker was scared then god only knew how Caboose and his childlike mind were reacting to their new teammate thrashing around on his bed like a madman.

"No, I-- something's wrong with Wash."

"Tucker, what do we do?!"

"I don't know."

 

* * *

 

"Wash, get the fuck outta here!" Carolina practically screams at him, her torso still being crushed in between the two crates that had been dropped on them by the Insurrection soldiers they've been fleeing from for what felt like forever. Wash can't even remember  _why_ they were running instead of fighting back. He can't remember why they're even here. Had this really happened?

"Like hell I'm leaving you. I can budge this!" he insists, pushing with all of his weight at the crate that was pinning Carolina down. It shifts ever so slightly but all it achieves was a blood-curdling scream from Carolina that made Wash stop immediately. "I can do this, I swear!"

"If you don't run now I'll fucking kill you myself."

Her left arm is free just enough to aim her pistol right at Wash's head. He barely has time to back away when another crate falls down in front of him, crushing her for good.

 

* * *

 

"Wash, buddy, it's okay. You're safe." 

Tucker has no idea what he's doing. He's crouched down beside Wash's bed, Caboose hovering nervously behind him.

"Do you think he needs a milkshake?"

"Not helping, Caboose."

There's a slight pause before a quiet voice speaks up behind him: "I don't know what to do."

Tucker hates that for once he has to agree with Caboose. What the fuck are they supposed to do?

 

* * *

 

It's almost like a normal dinnertime on the Mother of Invention. Wash feels at home with York on one side of him and North on the other, both ruthlessly teasing him about a flub he'd made in front of CT earlier that day. They weren't going to let him forget it for a long time, that was for sure.

Then suddenly Maine is bursting through the door, clutching at his throat.

"Maine!" Wash jumps up and that's when he realizes that York and North have disappeared, leaving him and Maine alone. The bigger man collapses onto the dinner table and pulls his hand away, revealing the scarlet coating of his hands. Wash is almost too afraid to look up but he does and he's greeted by the sight of Maine's mangled throat.

"No, no, no. This isn't happening. This can't be happening!"

He gurgles for help, desperately clawing at Wash but never seeming to reach him. Even as Wash tries to grab at his friend, his hands seem to go right through him.

Maine's blood trickles down onto Wash's feet. 

 

* * *

 

Tucker has no idea what makes him do it but he's crawling into bed with Wash, wrapping his arms around him and holding him tight. Wash is still thrashing and for a moment Tucker is genuinely afraid for his own safety before Caboose appears on Wash's other side, sandwiching the Freelancer between them. It's not a tight imprisonment, it's as gentle as two confused underpaid soldiers can be in a situation like this. They're out of their depth and they know it but it's all they can do.

Wash doesn't calm down for some time but that doesn't matter. They stay there for the rest of the night, holding him and reassuring him in soft voices. Tucker doesn't think he's ever heard Caboose sound so quiet and  _normal_. It's just as shocking as seeing Wash in a state like this.

When Wash wakes up the next morning to find his two newest teammates in bed with him, looking bleary-eyed but worried, he bursts into tears. He already knows what happened. The boys just hold him and tell him it's okay, that he doesn't have to explain himself. Caboose offers to get him some ice cream.

For once Wash thinks that Caboose might have the right idea.

 

* * *

 

The dreams never really go away, not after months or even years. They never talk about them and the boys never ask. Wash reveals a few details about his history here and there and Tucker puts the pieces into place until he has a pretty good idea what's going on in Wash's head. Caboose probably forgets everything Wash tells them in an instant but it doesn't stop him from crawling into Wash's bed whenever he hears the noises of distress coming from the next room. It becomes something of a pattern for them.

Deep in the bottom of Wash's heart, more unease begins to settle. Gradually the faces of his old Freelancer teammates are replaced by Tucker and Caboose. Suddenly it's Caboose with his throat ripped out or Tucker being painfully crushed from all sides. 

Eventually Wash decides he can't handle going through that again.

He leaves.

**Author's Note:**

> Further proof I may be Satan. I'm sorry.


End file.
